Miss You

Life isn't always easy. Sometimes well it is just plain difficult. And sometimes we think to ourselves, why are we sitting here alone. Fortunately, I am not the one sitting here thinking that, but I know that my better half is and that saddens me. I have the easy job of being home with four lively, active, and fun loving kids around me. I have the job of training them, raising them, and loving them. I have the joy of brushing their hair, holding their hand, listening to them breathe at night as they are all piled in their sleeping bags sleeping on my floor (well except for Sarah of course). But my husband does not. He is off in DC, sleeping on a houseboat, all alone, and in the cold and crazy winds.

I grew up where my dad followed the job and my mom, four siblings and I stayed at home...holding down the fort we used to say. I grew up hurt, angry, frustrated, and alone. And when Andrew and I were dating, engaged, and married we swore we would never chose life like that. And yet, here we are and now I know. Yes, it was hard on my mom (I still don't know how she did it all those years) and yes it was hard on me as a child, but it was harder on my Dad. He didn't get to see us grow up. He missed those special moments that we don't schedule into our lives, they just appear. He missed life. And Andrew is missing life. He is missing his baby girl change. He is missing the maturing of his son into a young man. He is missing a warm bed on a -2 degree night. He is wondering why. So Andrew, I love you. I miss you. And I know we have decided that this is short lived, but I have a new appreciation for life now because of you.

We started school back today after a long vacation. We spent December packing and preparing to move and then we decided to only send Andrew back to DC. So, we had a 2 hour delay along with the public school kids and it was perfect. It was a wonderful way to ease back into things. Then this afternoon, we sorted and organized our remaining school things so we can prepare for the week ahead. Then they watched a movie in celebration of Mary using the bathroom in the middle of the night. We are going through a stage where we aren't sure whether the bed will be wet or dry. Praise the Lord for a dry bed this morning! So a celebration was in order complete with ants on a log! :)

Thanks Mom for beautiful dresses for my girls who love to wear them all day everyday. I am so very thankful for my sweet Sarah bear who sleeps next to me every night. And right now my floor is full of matching sleeping bags (Christmas gifts) and precious blessings inside of them. The kids and I made our first batch of Elderberry Syrup yesterday using Rosemary Gladstar's Herbal Recipes book.  I am thankful for a husband who is willing to experiment in the kitchen by making tortillas from scratch. I captured that moment last week because I knew it was something I dearly treasure and it would be missing for a time.  I am proud of my kids for washing and drying dishes tonight. It is a good reminder that they are able to help around the house more and that I don't need to do it all. I am thankful for an opportunity to record these precious moments for my best friend.